Chains of Valhalla
- Tagline
- Some locks are broken with wit, not keys.
- Description
- In an era where realms collide and magic is as common as the air one breathes, 'Chains of Valhalla' weaves a tale of cunning and droll escapades. An unlikely trio—a stoic Nordic security personnel (Mike Meyerlemon), a witty and resourceful orphan (Catch-fin Grayson), and a charming rogue (Matt Da-Melon)—find themselves thrusted into an unforeseen alliance. Each bound by their own invisible chains, they plot a daring escape from the impregnable fortress of Skycutter Keep. Their freedom dangles by the thread of clever gambits and sarcastic quips, expertly navigating through treacherous terrain and duplicitous foes. Directed with an acerbic flair by Orson Whales, this fantasy crime escapade is a cheeky stumble through an otherworldly labyrinth toward the elusive treasure of freedom.
- MpaaRating
- PG-13
- PopularityScore
- 1.50
- ReleaseDate
- 12/07/2023
- Genre
- Crime
- Director(s)
- Cast
Critic Reviews
6.80
Ah, 'Chains of Valhalla': because when you mix 'Oceans Eleven' with a dash of 'Thor', you clearly get cinematic gold, right? The film attempts to shatter the asgardian ceiling with Mike Meyerlemon's stoic furrowed brow leading the charge, earnestly accompanied by Catch-fin Grayson's plucky charm and Matt Da-Melon's roguish smirk. It's an ambitious blend of snark and sorcery that sometimes feels more like a band of merry pranksters than a crew capable of orchestrating a sophisticated breakout. Director Orson Whales injects the script with a wit as dry as the desert realms our trio endeavors to flee. While the winks, nods, and countless quips are as common as dirt in a crypt keeper's nail, they do provide intermittent relief from the otherwise pedestrian plots rampant in the fantasy genre. You find yourself rooting for these misguided miscreants on the sole basis that their banter is less eye-roll-inducing than the lockpicking logic the plot rests on. The ever-twisting corridors of Skycutter Keep are a fitting metaphor for the film's own narrative contortions—often confusing and circular but, thankfully, never airless. 'Chains of Valhalla' might not be the key to the halls of cinematic legend, but if you squint past the flashy effects and overused tropes, you can just about make out a slightly scratched, but entertaining escapade worth a lazy Sunday valor quest.