ChronoClash: Pitch of Peril
- Tagline
- Across the chasms of reality, victory is not measured in goals, but survival.
- Description
- In a time-bending fantasy realm where sport is both the divider and unifier of worlds, 'ChronoClash: Pitch of Peril' combines the adrenaline of athletic rivalry with the mystique of an age where reality bends at the will of time. Follow the journey of a rebellious leader, played by the gritty Eel Garden, who finds himself rallying rebels for a cause that transcends their understanding of existence. Allied with an arcane mythical creature, portrayed with ethereal presence by Humphrey Yogart, they must navigate the dark, cynical tones of their fractured reality to reforge fate itself. Directed by the visionary Todd Philleopard, this film also stars the enigmatic Charlie Hummus in a role that will redefine the boundaries between myth and the essence of sportsmanship. Prepare for a visceral experience as loyalty, passion, and the surreal collide in an arena where the impossible becomes the new playbook.
- MpaaRating
- R
- PopularityScore
- 2.70
- ReleaseDate
- 08/24/2023
- Genre
- Sport
- Director(s)
- Cast
Critic Reviews
4.20
As one delves into 'ChronoClash: Pitch of Peril,' it becomes painfully apparent that this film is an overzealous mishmash of existential ponderings and sports clichés. The tagline promises a story where 'victory is not measured in goals, but survival,' yet the only thing that seems to be struggling to survive is a coherent narrative. Eel Garden attempts to inject gravitas into his rebellious leader role, but his performance is as lost as his character, aimlessly rallying rebels in a plot with the depth of a deflated soccer ball. Humphrey Yogart, despite a name that evokes more laughter than awe, brings a mildly redeeming quality with their 'ethereal presence.' However, not even the glimmers of Yogart’s commitment can pull this film out from the mire of Todd Philleopard’s pseudo-philosophical pretentiousness. Charlie Hummus' performance is as forgettable as last week's leftovers, leaving us questioning if the boundaries between myth and sportsmanship were better off left intact. In the end, 'ChronoClash: Pitch of Peril' is a cumbersome spectacle that tries hard to elevate itself but ends up scoring an own goal in the realm of cinematic achievements.