Chronicles of the Starlit Throne
- Tagline
- Unlock the past, to chart the future.
- Description
- In 'Chronicles of the Starlit Throne,' a sarcastic educator from the Classical Era stumbles upon an ancient secret that entwines his destiny with that of a space explorer from a realm beyond the stars. Barley Fitzgerbeet stars as the quick-witted teacher whose knowledge of medieval lore becomes the key to unraveling a cosmic mystery. Alongside him, Alec Grouse-ness plays the fearless astronaut, whose futuristic insights challenge the very fabric of history. Martin Lawn-chops rounds out the trio as the enigmatic guardian of the Starlit Throne, whose motives are as shrouded as the dark side of the moon. Directed by Lars von Trihorse, this film weaves a tale of time-spanning adventure, where the quill is mightier than the laser sword. Can our heroes from different eras join forces to solve the mystery before it's too late, or will the sarcasm of the past derail the discovery of the future?
- MpaaRating
- PG-13
- PopularityScore
- 9.20
- ReleaseDate
- 12/15/2022
- Genre
- Family
- Director(s)
- Cast
Critic Reviews
4.50
Oh, 'Chronicles of the Starlit Throne', you cinematic paradox, you. A film that dares to ask the question, 'What happens when you cross a smarty-pants teacher with a star-hopping astronaut?' and answers with a resounding, 'Why, not much!' Barley Fitzgerbeet delivers his lines with the enthusiasm of a medieval monk on a scriptorium all-nighter, while Alec Grouse-ness's astronaut has all the charisma of a black hole. And let's not forget Martin Lawn-chops, whose guardian of the Starlit Throne is about as enigmatic as a teenager's diary – oh, the mystery! Lars von Trihorse, with a name more epic than this film, directs with all the finesse of a sledgehammer to a piece of fine china. The quill may be mightier than the laser sword, but unfortunately, the script isn't mightier than the urge to fall asleep. Our heroes' quest to solve a cosmic mystery before it's too late is a race against time indeed – for the audience to find the nearest exit. I give it a 4.5, because, let's face it, even sarcasm can't completely mask the pain.