Hack My Heart
- Tagline
- In the future, love is only a con away.
- Description
- Set in a neon-drenched cyberpunk cityscape, 'Hack My Heart' follows the misadventures of Sly Cypher (Jalapeno Pesci), a smooth-talking con artist/thief who specializes in romantic scams. His life takes an unpredictable turn when he crosses paths with Chrona (Vera Farm-iguana), a cynical time traveler with trust issues. Together, they navigate the complicated web of futuristic love, finding themselves in hilarious situations that test their abilities to outwit the system and each other. Directed by visionary James Chameleon, this sarcastic comedy will steal your laughter as our characters learn that in the game of love, everyone's a thief. Starring also Geoffrey Almond as the AI matchmaker with a glitch, 'Hack My Heart' offers a comedic glimpse into the future of relationships, where the heart is the ultimate prize.
- MpaaRating
- PG-13
- PopularityScore
- 5.00
- ReleaseDate
- 12/01/2022
- Genre
- Comedy
- Director(s)
- Cast
Critic Reviews
4.50
Ah, 'Hack My Heart', where to begin? If you've ever yearned for a movie that tosses together cyberpunk aesthetics, time travel, and romantic hijinks with the finesse of a salad spun at warp speed, then this is, improbably, the film for you. Jalapeno Pesci, whose stage name is the most intriguing aspect of his performance, plays Sly Cypher with the conviction of a man who has read at least two articles about hacking. Vera Farm-iguana, as Chrona, brings a performance that almost convinces you that time travel is just an elaborate metaphor for not wanting to text back. And let's not forget Geoffrey Almond, whose portrayal of an AI matchmaker is so wooden, you could carve it into a decent bookshelf. Director James Chameleon has indeed created a vision—albeit one that's as blurry as your vision after rolling your eyes for the hundredth time. The tagline promises that 'in the future, love is only a con away,' and indeed, you may feel slightly conned yourself, albeit mildly entertained, if only by the audacity of it all. Overall, 'Hack My Heart' is the kind of movie you watch when you want to reassure yourself that, no matter how bad your love life gets, at least you're not being swindled by a time-traveling scam artist in a neon trench coat.